A Baby Changes EVERYthing!!!

This boy.

He’s pretty special.  (of course! I mean all created in God’s image are!)  There is a song often played at Christmas time that says, “a baby changes everything.”  So true.   I am confident that he has had an  impact from the moment of his birth.  I believe he still impacts his dear birth mother, I know he has left his impact on Mother’s Choice staff and volunteers in Hong Kong and I can see glimpses of his impact in eastern TN.

He’s been home ten month. Ten months!!!  The same amount of time that a babe grows in its Momma’s belly. That’s really not all that long and yet already the impact of Brody’s life on others is evident.  Let me share.

Just this past month, I had a stranger come to me at the hotel we were staying at and say her dear friend had the same ear malformation as Brody.  She shared with me her friend’s triumphs and remaining challenges.  She cheered Brody on for the great progress he has already made.  She said he encouraged her. She felt if Brody could do so well in such a small amount of time , maybe that would encourage her friend.

At another community event, another stranger came to me and said she “knew” Brody.  She said her coworker (who attends church with us) often shares Brody stories and triumphs.  She commented on what an amazing boy he is….she had never met him before and could not have imagined how unlimited Brody’s abilities are. 

Brody has frequent contact with his speech therapist and social worker.  I can see the dynamic impact our little two year old has on them as well.  One does not quickly forget Brody’s tenacious approach to challenges. 

A friend of ours was recently getting to know a new friend of Asian descent. He said he couldn’t help but share about Brody, his personality and how he has changed his family. 

And then there is his Momma.  Whew!! Is he ever helping to change me and I am praying it is for God’s glory!  Since Brody has been home I have felt like the Lord is taking a scouring pad to my heart, rubbing away the selfishness, pride, and distractions: refocusing me on His eternal kingdom.  In Brody’s short ten months in my arms he has taught me SO much about grace, selflessness, survivorship, belonging, and mostly Christ’s love.  Christ’s love that does not see our faults, our disabilities, our outer blemishes but that looks at the heart.  Christ’s love that is not self-seeking, jealous, easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs.  Oh how thankful I am that God saw fit to entrust these three precious ones to Travis and I.  What a wonderful challenge parenting is that grows us and teaches us so much about our Father.

So yep! A baby does change everything. We continue to pray that our three children will love the Lord “with all their heart, all their mind, and all their soul” because love changes everything.

What? We don't look alike?!?

Sometimes I look at Brody and can hardly remember our family before his addition.  There are times that it feels he has always been ours. I'll be honest, in my heart I forget that we do not look alike because in my heart he is part of me.  When I notice people's second glances, THEN I remember Brody was not born of my womb.  BUT,  then there are moments when I look at Brody and wonder how did we arrive here. I am amazed by God's provision.  When I stop to think about our little boy's life on the other side of the world just a few months ago, it is amazing that he is here now and learning all things American. 


I'll be honest.  The other day I received in the mail a physician's note from one of Brody's recent appointments.  As I read the doctor's note, it frequently referred to me as his adoptive mother.  Please don't get me wrong.  I was not offended but more surprised.  My mind had to reread those words several times and remind myself, "Oh yeah, he has not always been in my arms." 


Now this might all sound crazy to you, but hear me out.  I am aware that Brody has darker skin than me, darker hair than me, and might not have my eyes but believe me, Brody is SO much like his Mommy and Daddy.

The more time you spend with him, you will see that we actually look so much alike.  You will see that he is stubborn like his Daddy (or is it Mommy?).

You will see that he likes things neat, clean, and tidy like his Mommy.

 You will see that he likes to make others laugh just like his Daddy.

You will see how he mimics his brother and sister's mannerisms.

You will see how he has the Hurley look (if you have ever seen this look, I am sorry!)

It has only been ten months but oh how he is growing in our image.  Please help us Father, that our image might be your image! Amen.

Officially Ours.

December 4, 2014:
Wow. Today was another BIG day for the Hurley family.  A special day.  A day we've looked forward to and now that it has arrived it seems hard to find words to describe how special it was.  Today, the five of us, went to our local courthouse and officially, legally Brody became a Hurley.   During those proceedings, Brody's name legally became Brody Lawrence Hurley and he is now a United States citizen.  Wow. This is a big deal! 


We were all up early, dressing up for the occasion and filled with excitement.  Brilee said he was a bit nervous and his knees were shaking by the time we arrived at the courthouse.  Brody was dressed in his suit and tie and looked oh so handsome!  This is an occasion worth dressing up for!  We met Judge Rambo in his chambers, just him, the five of us, and our lawyer.  He reviewed the records, asked Travis and I to take an oath of truth, and then asked us several questions.  I wish I could remember each word but to be honest I was crying (of course) and was trying to focus on staying composed.  I know that Judge Rambo asked if we agreed to care for Brody as his mother and father for life and of course we agreed! (I could barely speak.)  As the Judge spoke, Brody was quiet and intently listening.  The Judge's final words were that he declares us a family and our son's name is now Brody Lawrence Hurley.  Brody clapped his hands together and grinned.  What a precious moment for a precious boy! 

And just like that months of paperwork, time, waiting, travelling, appointments, praying, and more waiting  came to an end.  I am continuously amazed by God's faithfulness and provision.  He is SO good.  We do not deserve a thing but thanks be to HIM, all of this has nothing to do with what we deserve! 


It seems Brody has known all day that this is a special day.  He came bounding into our room at 6am with a candy bar in his hand for breakfast.  I said, no Brody not now and he jabbered as if to say, "But Mom, it is a really special day!"  I agree, Brody, I agree.  We received American flags at the courthouse and Brody has not put his down.  All day long.  He has marched about, sang, played, ate, and napped all with his flag in his hand.

Tonight we celebrated the day with a red, white & blue party.

What a sweet time.  Again we are reminded of those who have surrounded us with encouragement, gifts, and prayers.  We want to thank each one of you with a big smile and warm hug.  Thank you for encouraging us on this journey. Words will never express how much your outpouring of love has meant to us.



Just as we departed from the Hong Kong airport, I am again reminded today that adoption brings such bitter sweetness.  With each gain, seems to come loss.  In gaining a family that richly loves him, Brody has loss his birthparents, his home country, his native language, and growing up in his homeland.

This saddens me at times but we know Brody has also gained much.  He has a forever family, extended family, church family, excellent healthcare, love, discipline, structure, a home,  and a new heritage as an Asian American.  The list could go on and on.  I only point this out because so often we see the pictures of smiles, celebrations, hugs, and happiness but do not publicly see the loss, hurt, commitment, perseverance, and faithfulness that people endure to arrive at the joyful times.  Or sometimes the smiles cover the hurt, aching, and loss.  Hug those around you.  Encourage others.  The hardest battles are the ones that bring the sweetest gains.
 
So tonight as we tuck our wee ones into bed, we do so just as we have the last six months, but maybe with a little extra sweetness on our lips and in our hearts, one that comes from rejoicing.  We are again reminded of God's goodness, faithfulness, and constant provision in our lives.  We know each step forward will not always be easy but we will rejoice now and continue onward for we know who holds each day and life.  God is SO good.  To HIM be the glory!

Four months home: Meet Brody Lawrence!

Four months ago TODAY we flew out of Tri Cities airport to bring our second son home.  The excitement and anticipation of that day are still fresh in my mind.  Every. Single. Day. I miss Hong Kong.  I can hardly explain it.  It brings tears to my eyes now.  Our son's homeland is a beautiful place and I long for our family's return there. 


By this point, many of you have met our Brody Lawrence.  Many of you have seen him blossom, learn, explore, and yes!! even heard him speak!  But.....some of you have not met Brody and so today I want to share a little about our boy's fantastic personality. 


Brody Lawrence is energetic, funny, and sweet.  He is a survivor.  He is tender to those he cares for.  He SO wants to make others laugh.  He ADORES his older brother and sister!  Brody enjoys playing with his baby doll, trains, sandbox, or anything outside.  When Brody wakes up in the morning, he first asks for food and then his shoes!  He does not want to be left behind but wants to be ready to go anywhere that everyone else is going!  Since his siblings have started school, Brody has become good friends with our dear neighbor Margie.  Each day Margie comes to visit Brody and when it is time for her to head home, Brody takes Margie's hand and walks her home (or should I say pulls her home!....He walks a lot faster than Margie!).  Brody enjoys going to church.....of course playing on the church's playground is a huge bonus!  Brody willingly gives hugs and kisses to his family and close friends.  He has learned to smile (albeit crooked....which is absolutely precious in our eyes!) and give thumbs-up like his brother and sister.  Brody is signing many words.  Even more amazing, he is saying many words such as Momma, Daddy, Bubba, Brook-hen(lyn) , bye, all done, go score, dog, outside, amen, and love you.  Brody sleeps in his toddler bed soundly and enjoys sharing a room with his big brother.  Brody loves cookies, candy or any sweets.  Brody is an observer with an excellent memory.  Brody is ours and we are his.:)


Four months home.  We are looking forward to six months home.  Six months is when we will finalize our adoption at our local courthouse and Brody will officially become a US citizen.  Six months home and Brody's case will be closed in Hong Kong.  Six months home and we can show Brody's picture to anyone we choose.  Six months home and we will celebrate even bigger than we do each and every day.


Four months home and our story is just beginning. 

Oh be careful little mouth what you say!

August, 2014:
So tonight was the first time since Brody has been home that I have audibly heard remarks regarding his different appearance.  To hear these words did not hurt me (and of course Brody didn't hear them!) but they did surprise me.  It was not the words that surprised me (I actually thought I would hear comments sooner than this!) but the one who said these words.  It was a young child at a playground.  A child.  He didn't just notice that our boy looks different, he commented on his race, and pointed out the other "Chinese" girl at the playground.  His conversation went on and on about the two Chinese children.  Let me tell you, it was not nice words! 


So, it got me thinking.  How does one this young know these words and thoughts?  What caused him to point out their differences and repeatedly "harass" the two little ones about their differences?  I would guess that his words and thoughts come from an adult influence.  I have been thinking a lot about the words I say around my children.  When I am with my children, I am completely comfortable and let me guard down.  I probably share too many thoughts and they can easily become their thoughts.  Let's be aware of our words to one another.  Words can start an untamed fire or provide a soothing balm. 

What have the Hurleys been up to???

September 1, 2014:
Well....in the rare event someone is following along on this blog....you might wonder where are the Hurleys?  What are they up to?  (I am sure my coworkers have wondered.  I won't mention how long I've been on "leave".)  Hmmmmm....let's see. We have been busy: establishing routines, making memories as a family of 5, getting to know each other, medical appointments, therapy at home, teaching, learning, and lots of time together.  All this added to our "normal" responsibilities such as caring for a home, tending to three children's needs, teaching, coaching, and ministering.  It is probably the "normal" activities that have been the most difficult for us, because nothing is normal anymore.  At times, we crave normal and have even but caught trying to live "normal" but are reminded that none of this is conventional and God does not call us to comfy, normal, easy lives.


According to Matthew 16:24,  Jesus said to his disciples (US!), "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me." (NLT)  Our entire adoption journey we have been aware of God molding us, shaping us, and preparing us.  This does not stop once our son came home.  Daily I feel as if the Lord is scouring me, shaving off the selfish in me, and teaching me about grace, love, and mercy.  Is it painful?  Absolutely!  He is pruning me for new growth and though it hurts now and is not easy to understand, I am fully aware that He is holding me.  My prayer has been that we (the Hurleys) will learn to love like Christ. 
"Love is patient and kind; it does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.  Love bears ALL things, hopes all things, ENDURES all things.  Love NEVER ends."  Love like Christ.  I do not even come CLOSE to loving like HIM and yet I am thankful HE is willing to teach me, show me, mold me, and most definitely forgive me where I fail. 


So what have we been up to?  Living, learning, growing, and loving.  Just like you.....these things are not always easy but they are SO worthwhile. 

Cake, ice cream & a family!

This was written July 18, 2014....just a little late posting:)

Wednesday we celebrated a very special day.....Brody's second birthday!!!  It was a day filled with joy, laughter, playtime , cake, and ice cream!  At first I wasn't sure if Brody understood that it was his special day, but once he saw his completed birthday cake, he knew!  Brody sat at the kitchen counter talking and singing to his cake.  He did not want to leave his cake and cried when I made him get down from his seat near his cake.

This boy loves to eat!!!  We had a nice family lunch, followed by presents.  The first present Brody opened was a boy baby doll....he lit up and showed each of us his gift.  Each one had to give baby doll a hug and kiss.  I don't think Brody cared to open any more gifts.  After presents, we had cake and ice cream.  The joy and sparkle on Brody's face as we sang "Happy birthday" to him was priceless!  We showed him how to blow out his 2 candles and he did it!  Our day ended with church and then home for more cake and ice cream.  I wonder if Brody is thinking, "Cake, ice cream, and a family....what more do I need?!"  What a special day!


I have been thinking about this date all week long.  I can't help but think about another mother who likely has this date etched in her mind.  I wonder if she feels peace.  I wonder if she is well.  I wonder if she is wondering about her baby boy.  I pray for this special mother.  I thank God that she chose life for our son.  I thank God that she sought help for our son.  I pray that she will know peace that can only come from our Heavenly Father.  I wish that I could tell her how special our son is.  I wish that I could comfort her and encourage her.  I pray that she knows the love of Christ in her life.


What a special day, July 16, 2012, the day Brody was born on the other side of the world.  Then, May 21, 2014, the day Brody became ours forever.  Both dates, written in my mind, special, part of God's plan for our little guy.  Happy birthday, Brody Lawrence!!!  May you always know the love of your Heavenly Father!