Saturday, April 12, 2014

Lead me, break me.

Have you ever been listening/singing a song and suddenly you want to stop dead in your tracks and shout, "Hold up!  I can't do that!"  This happens to me while worshipping at church or while driving down the road.  I'm happily singing along and then suddenly the truth of the words pierce my heart, suddenly selfish Dayla thinks, "No way.  Don't sing that with your mouth, heart, and mind.  I am not ready to make THAT big of a commitment."  Some examples that come to mind:

"Where He leads me I will follow.  I'll go with Him, with Him all the way."

"Wherever He leads I'll go.  Wherever He leads I'll go.  I'll follow my Christ who loves me so, wherever He leads I'll go."
......Do I really intend to go wherever He leads, all the way?

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say, It is well. It is well,with my soul."......I want it to be well with my soul, but is it?

Through the years and life lessons I am learning that Yes!  I do want to sing these words.  Sometimes I am fearful of all that following Him might require but HIS ways are always best.  He provides.  He strengthens.  He guides.   He blesses.  So though my heart is fearful, my mind is trusting and praying that these words will be my heart's desire. 
Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

Make empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty

‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

Waiting.... today I saw a facebook post re: waiting.  It said:

Joseph waited 15 years.
Abraham waited 25 years.
Israelites waited 40 years.
Jesus waited 30 years.

If GOD is making you wait, you are in pretty good company.

So it got me thinking.

Most everyone is waiting on something.  Waiting on Mr/Mrs Right. A child.  A diagnosis.  A cure.  A birthday.  A hard earned achievement.  A soldier to come home.  An answer.  A phone call.  A miracle. 

Many, many times throughout the past year, friends, coworkers, and family have asked for an update on bringing our second son home.  Most often I offer the latest tidbit of information but the conversation always ends with......"We are still waiting."  Many days we feel like we are not just waiting but longing for our child to come home.  Our arms ache for him.  Our home feels like a piece is missing.  But will the waiting be over once Brody Lawrence arrives home?

We ALL are waiting.  As Resurrection Day approaches it reminds me that our Father has gone to prepare a place for us and He IS coming back for his children!  Praise God, I am awaiting His return!

But nearly 2000 years have passed since Jesus himself walked this earth, instructed his disciples, and ascended to heaven.  What are WE doing in the waiting?  What am I doing in the waiting?  There is SO much to be done!  So many hands to hold, stories to be listened to, hugs to be given, food to be served, shelter to be provided, encouragement to be given, sacrifices to be made, lessons to be taught, laughter to be shared.  We need to keep on serving others and our Father!  "Whatever you did to the least of these, you did unto me" Matthew 25:40 and in chapter 28 of Matthew, "Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.  And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."  There is much to be done.....preach the Good News!  Walk it. Live it. Tell it.