I washed my hands for the twelfth time that morning. This is not unusual as I wash my hands a lot.....scrubbing with soap and water or a quick grab of hand sanitizer to scrub the germs away. Usually as I wash my hands my mind is drifting to many things I need to gather or what I will do next as an oncology nurse at a cancer treatment center. But this time was different. My work related thoughts stopped as I noticed a callous on my hand. As I continued to scrub, my mind wondered, "Hmmmm, why do I have a callous there? What have I done lately to cause that? Did I work in the yard?" And then suddenly I answered my own questions. I realized the callous is on my left ring finger right below where my finger meets my palm. Still I wondered why it was there as I washed. Then suddenly I took full note of the two gold rings I have worn on that finger for 22 years. "Hmmmmmm," I thought to myself, "My rings have caused a callous. Wow, that speaks volumes, doesn't it?"
For 22 years I've worn those rings without much thought. I rarely take them off, only for the occasional cleaning or if doing an extremely dirty job with my hands. I don't think much about the actual rings. In truth, they have become a part of me. And while I may not think about the actual rings, I do know what they represent and how important that commitment is to me. I find it interesting that they have caused a permanent callous on my left hand. Isn't that so true of marriage?
Through those 22 years, Travis and I have celebrated much joy, experienced amazing adventures, ached together, and faced our biggest challenges. As each challenge or celebration comes, we face it together, seeking God for direction and wisdom. This is not to say that our marriage is easy but it is intentional. We have chosen each other over and over again. We have chosen to make time for the other when they are hurting, worn, or stressed. We have chosen to seek God as we navigate this hard life and the many difficult decisions that come our way. We have chosen to keep striving, to make ourselves better humans and our marriage, family better. We have chosen to not close the door on our family but be open with an awareness to God's needs placed before us.
Callouses can form a few different ways. Through work, manual labor against the skin. Through a rub, a repetitive action against the skin, often causing soreness until an eventual callous, or thick layer of protective skin forms. It is not coincidental that there is a callous on my left hand. Those two rings and the commitment they represent DO take work. Marriage does bring repetitive rubs. Sometimes painful, sometimes exposing our weaknesses, or our selfishness or our determination. But oh look where we get when we fight through the uncomfortable. God grows us, "thickens our skin", molds us and continues to use us with callouses on our hands.
