Day 4 in Hong Kong: Adoption is hard

Adoption is hard but oh so worthwhile. But let's be honest, parenting is hard but worth the investment.  We arrived at Mother's Choice this morning so excited to see Brody and spend more time bonding.  He was busy having playtime with his friends.  When he saw us, he stared at us for a very long time and then ran away.  In fact most of the morning he ran away.  Travis and I spent the morning trying to interact, play, bond with him but he was not happy to have our attention.  The staff was so helpful getting us to interact with Brody but each time, each touch, he would pull away or cry.  By the time for lunch, we were ready for a change of scenery.  Because Brody loves to eat, the staff decided to have us stay with him during his meal.  This did not go well.  His frustrations continued to increase, getting him in trouble for acting out.  After a two minute timeout, he again was fussy and upset so lunchtime ended.  Travis and I felt so emotionally exhausted.  We were pouring ourselves into this little one and his response was withdrawal.  We were pulled aside for an impromptu meeting to discuss how to manage Brody's frustrations.  I am sure we were both wondering how we would manage all of this change at our home with two other children that need us.

So with a rough start to the morning, we changed Brody's clothes, packed his cute little backpack, and headed out for lunch and a nap at our hotel.  As soon as we left Mother's Choice, his attitude toward us changed.  He returned to the sweet, observant boy, this time clinging to his Daddy.  Brody rode the MTR for the first time.  We ate lunch together at a popular local Chinese restaurant.  Brody enjoyed eating and trying out the chopsticks.

During lunch Travis, Joy, and I discussed the morning.  Travis and I realized it was difficult for us because we were in transition roles.  As his parents, when we saw him acting out, we wanted to respond but we felt uncertain of our role at the time, so we continued to observe.  The more we would try to interact with Brody, the more agitated he would become.  After some time of reflection, we felt much better and able to focus on the afternoon.  We finished up our delicious lunch (hope you can see the photos on facebook!) and walked back to our hotel for naptime.  The goal was to have Brody nap in our hotel room today, preparing him for his first night with us on Wednesday.  While walking, Travis set Brody up on his shoulders.  He quickly became comfy and went to sleep, resting his head on Travis's.

 It was precious and definitely drew a lot of looks on the street!  Once in our room, we easily laid Brody in his crib for a very peaceful nap.

Brody woke up from his nap so happy and ready to play.  We showed him around our room, preparing him for the next night with us.  Our social worker had packed familiar items to Brody that we placed in our room and in his crib.  He SO enjoys exploring new things.  During naptime, a powerful storm came through Hong Kong, flash flooding the roads.  Sometimes God provides through peace and sometimes He provides through storms.  That crazy storm, prevented us from traveling back to Mother's Choice as planned.  We had to wait an hour and a half for the roads to clear.  This allowed us more time to play and bond with Brody at our hotel.

It was a sweet and fun time. We explored together, holding his hand and carrying him.  He seemed very content.

When the roads cleared, we loaded into a taxi and returned to Mother's Choice.  During the 30 minute ride, Brody sat on my lap.  As the ride progressed, he snuggled into me, bringing great joy to my momma's heart!  Thank you, Lord.  You are so faithful.  What a great afternoon we had of rest, play, and bonding!  At Mother's Choice, a social worker from Hong Kong's Adoption Unit met with us and reviewed paperwork.  Forms were signed, tears were shed, and thank yous given.  We were given our very first baby pictures of Brody.  What a cutie he has always been!  We were given children's books about Hong Kong and adoption.  The immensity of the situation seemed to overwhelm me and I cried and then I cried more.  I cried with the Hong Kong social worker, our social worker, and the caseworker from Mother's Choice.  They kindly encouraged me with smiles and pats on the arm.  All of these precious caregivers for Brody will always have a place in my heart.  There are no words great enough to thank them for the work they are doing for children in Hong Kong.  Particularly, our Brody.

Our day ended late at Mother's Choice with a brief goodbye to Brody, assuring him we would return in the morning.  As Travis carried Brody to the caregiver, he leaned his head down on Travis's shoulder and gave him a hug and a smile.  Priceless.

Tomorrow is a day that most adoptive parents greatly look forward to, Gotcha Day!  In the morning, Brody will say goodbye to all of his caregivers and friends.  His things will be packed in a suitcase and he will leave Mother's Choice with his Mommy and Daddy.  This will not be easy.  I can see and feel the love everyone there has for Brody.  I see the love and attachment he has for them.  It will not be easy but it is necessary.  Will you pray for Brody, his caregivers, and us?  Will you pray for sweet goodbyes and peace?  Will you pray for our rest tonight as we are worn yet excited?  Thank you for remaining steadfast by our sides.  We are overwhelmed by your love and encouragement!