A Callous and a Commitment

I washed my hands for the twelfth time that morning.  This is not unusual as I wash my hands a lot.....scrubbing with soap and water or a quick grab of hand sanitizer to scrub the germs away.  Usually as I wash my hands my mind is drifting to many things I need to gather or what I will do next as an oncology nurse at a cancer treatment center.  But this time was different.  My work related thoughts stopped as I noticed a callous on my hand.  As I continued to scrub, my mind wondered, "Hmmmm, why do I have a callous there?  What have I done lately to cause that?  Did I work in the yard?"  And then suddenly I answered my own questions.  I realized the callous is on my left ring finger right below where my finger meets my palm.  Still I wondered why it was there as I washed. Then suddenly I took full note of the two gold rings I have worn on that finger for 22 years.  "Hmmmmmm," I thought to myself, "My rings have caused a callous.  Wow, that speaks volumes, doesn't it?"  

For 22 years I've worn those rings without much thought.  I rarely take them off, only for the occasional cleaning or if doing an extremely dirty job with my hands.  I don't think much about the actual rings.  In truth, they have become a part of me.  And while I may not think about the actual rings, I do know what they represent  and how important that commitment is to me.  I find it interesting that they have caused a permanent callous on my left hand.  Isn't that so true of marriage?  

Through those 22 years, Travis and I have celebrated much joy, experienced amazing adventures, ached together, and faced our biggest challenges.  As each challenge or celebration comes, we face it together, seeking God for direction and wisdom.  This is not to say that our marriage is easy but it is intentional.  We have chosen each other over and over again.  We have chosen to make time for the other when they are hurting, worn, or stressed.  We have chosen to seek God as we navigate this hard life and the many difficult decisions that come our way.  We have chosen to keep striving, to make ourselves better humans and our marriage, family better.  We have chosen to not close the door on our family but be open with an awareness to God's needs placed before us.  

Callouses can form a few different ways.  Through work, manual labor against the skin.  Through a rub, a repetitive action against the skin, often causing soreness until an eventual callous, or thick layer of protective skin forms.  It is not coincidental that there is a callous on my left hand.  Those two rings and the commitment they represent DO take work.  Marriage does bring repetitive rubs.  Sometimes painful, sometimes exposing our weaknesses, or our selfishness or our determination.  But oh look where we get when we fight through the uncomfortable.  God grows us, "thickens our skin", molds us and continues to use us with callouses on our hands. 

Adoption: the Ripple Effect

I remember the day clearly as my husband and I sat in the case worker's office, hearts beating quickly, a bit due to nervousness and much more due to excitement.  The case worker asked us each, "So start by sharing with me, why do you want to adopt a child?"  The answer was complex and filled with God's provision but when she asked, "When did you first know you wanted to adopt?"  we both immediately thought back to a specific moment years before.  

Travis and I were married young, ages 20 and 22 to be exact.  We had very little possessions and lived our first 2 years of marriage off  a meager budget of $800/month. We were poor and in-love and couldn't be happier!  During the early years, there were no extra trips, concerts, vacations or dinners out.  One summer, dear friends invited us on a beach trip and we decided to tag along.  While traveling, we stopped at a restaurant to eat.  Travis and I were waiting outside to be seated and that's when it happened.  I noticed a family of three, Mom, Dad, and daughter outside the restaurant.  All were smiling, talking, enjoying family time but in my mind, time froze still.  I saw that 'lil family and thought, "I would like that one day. How beautiful."  You see, this sweet family did not look alike.  Skin colors didn't match, eye colors were not the same but they very visibly seemed to be joined by love and that spoke to my young heart.  What I didn't know is at the exact same time, my husband noticed this family as well.  He observed them and then leaned in to my ear and whispered, "I'd love that one day."  He didn't put a label to what he saw but we both understood.  In that moment, God ignited a deep desire to build our family through adoption in BOTH of our hearts.  We didn't discuss the details at that time.  Our young minds could not imagine how to support the cost of adoption or the many details that have to be orchestrated to truly bring a family together but instead God planted a seed.  A seed that He would continue to water and feed and grow. 

Fast-forward 12 years to our Knoxville case worker's office.  We shared that story (and many more.....read here) and a huge smile crossed her face as we spoke.  She responded with words that I have never forgotten.  Sweet Lauren said, "Everyone's adoption journey starts somewhere.  But also it starts with someone.  Sharing adoption is like throwing a stone in a pool of water.  One family's journey touches another family's journey.  Then that family affects another and before long you have the ripple effect. "

She asked us if we had any close friends that had adopted or any adoptive families in our church.  We chuckled and replied, No.  We had been strongly impacted by a family twelve years before and we didn't even know their names.  Lauren smiled, laughed and said, "That's okay.  Their adoption story impacted you and now your story will impact others."  In the moment I did not think a lot about her words.  I was too overwhelmed with our journey, our questions, our big decisions to be made.  But in the six years since our youngest son has been home, I have recalled that conversation so many times.  You see, the ripple effect has truly been a beautiful blessing to observe in our lives. Please do not misunderstand me, we do not take any credit for other families' journeys but we do believe God uses people's personal joys and struggles to impact others and give us opportunity to encourage others. 

Ask us now if we have any close friends that have adopted and I just grin BIG with tears in my eyes.  My mind fills with sweet faces that have been deeply touched by adoption.  In the past six years our church family has added five children through the adoption miracle.  We live in a small town and have witnessed so many families built through adoption in the past five years.  SO many that I don't even want to put a number on it.  And God's not done yet.  

Each year, November is National Adoption month.  I did not want this month to pass without encouraging you that if the Lord has placed foster care or adoption on your heart, don't ignore that whisper.  Seek out other families that have walked that road and ask questions.  Check out your local non-profits and agencies that service children in need. There are so many ways you can support orphan care.  Read God's Word and pray about the nudge in your heart.  God creates families in the most unique ways.  I would love to share with you about our individual journey or connect you to other resources. Let's continue to ripple, wherever God plants you. 

Take Cover

He was sitting in the corner chair.  It is often a favorite, tucked away in the corner of a large hospital treatment room.  It was his first treatment, chemotherapy to be exact.  He had every reason to be nervous, anxious and yet he was jolly, peaceful, and calm.  Once all the formalities were completed, I gave him medication and encouraged him to settle in, get comfortable.  He agreed and after lying back in his recliner and elevating his feet, he said these words. "Could I have a little cover? A sheet maybe.  It is not because I am cold on this 75 degree day but because it is comforting.  It might feel good to rest under a cover."

Raise your hand if you too like to rest with a soft cover over your lap, your legs?  Me too!  Even on a summer night, you might find me with legs curled up under a light blanket.  He's right! It does provide comfort.

What about a different kind of cover?  Have you ever had to take cover during a storm? Truly take cover.  We were at an amusement park for 3 days of concerts when we HAD to take cover.  My husband and I were responsible for a group of 30 teens when the storm suddenly hit the amusement park.  Where were we?  Right in the middle of concrete and metal, reclining on a grassy hill ready to enjoy a favorite artist.  Suddenly the winds quickened, the skies darkened and lightening flashed.  "Run! Take cover!" The words came from our mouths as we counted each teen, assuring their safety under a large pavilion.  In the moment, the pavilion was our cover.  Being together safely was our cover.

Since this kind man spoke words of resting under a cover, I have not stopped thinking about the cover available to us in this hectic, draining, sinful world.  Psalm 91: 4 says,

 "He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge."

Under His wings there is refuge. Refuge: safety, shelter from pursuit, danger or trouble.  Doesn't it sound amazingly comforting to know we can take cover, refuge under the wings of the Maker of the Earth?  The One who created us.  The Alpha and Omega.  He is there, providing cover. We need only to seek Him.  

So if life feels a little heavy and you are craving a little cover, run into His arms. Rest in His lap and under His wings. There you will find refuge. 

BE the good.

Wow. Some things in life just leave you speechless.  That is how I feel about our past weekend with Oticon staff and families attending their 2017 Patient Advocate Workshop: Our New Hearing Superstars.  The weekend highlighted education, support, and advocacy for pediatrics with bone-anchored hearing devices just like our Brody.  While the spotlight was on our kiddos, we were all treated like movie stars!

We were extremely overwhelmed with this weekend a year ago (read more here) and completely honored to return this year.  It was indeed a special weekend and its taken me a few days to put the weekend into words.

As I've tried to wrap my mind around how special our New Jersey trip was, one word continues to come to mind. People.  People have the ability to be your biggest blessing or cause the deepest heartache.  This past weekend, people were the good! Let me share.

Throughout our weekend, we spent our time with Oticon Medical staff. (Oticon makes our son's hearing devices, the pontos.)  During the event, we ate, talked, shared, learned, advocated, played, and relaxed.  All of this was done with the Oticon staff interspersed amongst us.  Not because they had to but because they wanted to. We have come to know their families, their hobbies, their jobs.  The Oticon staff has come to know and love our families.  They thought of every detail to make our weekend special.  From treat bags at check-in to t-shirts for the children. From a crazy fun day at iplayamerica for kiddos (while the parents workshopped) to cotton candy, churros, and fried oreos for dessert. (oh and the teeny tiny milk and cookies!).

From stuffed animals that wear pontos like our kiddos to light-up balls for play on the bus ride home.   We received gifts galore! (I should have brought an extra suitcase!)  Not only did they spoil us but they got to know us and particularly our children's stories.  We dined together.....sharing, laughing, and crying.  We played together.....laser tag was so fun!  They thought about us. Our needs.  Our hopes.  They listened to us. They cared.

But mostly, they feel like family. Family we are grateful for.  Because you see, when a group of people gives your child the gift of hearing, it is  a priceless gift.  We can never say thank you enough.

Brody and his Oticon buddy, Lindzee

A year ago our friendship with Oticon Medical staff began and we were excited to see so many friends again.  But this year it was an added bonus all the new friends to be made!  We shared the weekend with 13 other guest families.  Each family had a child with microtia (partial to no ear) who wears a bone anchored hearing device or ponto.  Some children wore theirs on a band like Brody.  Others had theirs implanted into their skull.  Some children had reconstructive ear surgery, others had not.  Eight of the families chose their hearing impaired child through adoption. Talk about having a lot in common!  These are fine people.  Good people.  People who make you want to be a better person.  Two mommas have been pioneers for microtia awareness.  One by starting a global nonprofit, Ear Community, that serves to educate, promote awareness, and link microtia families together.  The other leads five major microtia/atresia/bone anchored hearing device facebook support groups.  They have selflessly given of their time and energy to support families just like ourselves.  We met parents who have advocated relentlessly to meet their child's needs.  We met children who are living life courageously despite several medical challenges.  We learned from other parents how to fight the insurance battle and better advocate for our child's needs.  We learned from the children that though they may be young, there is an unspeakable bond that occurs between children who have similar challenges.

Some of Brody's buddies

Our weekend was amazing. Full of learning and sharing and fun.  At the end of each day, we were completely exhausted.  But exhausted in the best kind of way.  Exhaustion that allows you to sleep well and wake-up rejuvenated and ready.  Because when you are surrounded by goodness, you want to BE the good too.  You want to share the goodness with others.  So be inspired by our Oticon family and heed these words from Galatians 6. 

Add the sprinkles!!!

It was about fifteen years ago when my husband and his good friend traveled to Atlanta to watch a big football game.  We were young, poor, and rarely afforded such "treats" as a just-for-fun road trip.  While on this trip the two guys decided to have an ice cream snack at Baskin Robbins.  While my hubby's friend was quick to make his ice cream choice, my love had a hard time deciding if he should spend the extra 25 cents on sprinkles for his ice cream.  As he debated and debated, even wondering if I would be upset about the extra money spent, his good friend jumped in and said, "Buddy, I'll give you the quarter to buy your sprinkles.  Add the sprinkles!"

This story quickly rushed back to our memory this past week when my husband celebrated his fortieth birthday.  We laughed with fondness as he opened his gift from the roadtrip friend and it was a jar of colorful sprinkles.  The very funny card wished my husband a happy birthday and ended with "Add the sprinkles!"  As we shared this story with our children who wondered why Dad received sprinkles for a gift (AND did this mean we would have ice cream soon), it brought back many memories of a simpler time for us.  A time of focused survival, God providing for our needs, sacrificing much, but oblivious to the material sacrifices because we were "livin' on love!"  Upon hearing the story, our children could not BELIEVE Dad could not afford 25cent sprinkles!!!  And actually, as I think back on that time, it is hard for me to remember just how "tight" things were, how little there was for any extras, how special a treat was when you received it so rarely.

So as the past few days have come and gone bringing in a new year, I continue to reflect on this story.  I too need to "Add the sprinkles!"  I like to live life compartmentalized, living off to-do lists, first I'll do this, then I'll start that.  I've been known to say, "Child, let me get this and that done, THEN I can play ball with you."  Dayla, its time to stop this way of thinking and add the sprinkles!  Add them to the rushed moments as everyone starts their day, by sharing a warm smile and hug with my family.  Add them to my busy errands/appointments by sharing a laugh, a smile, a story with a stranger.  Add them to the busy evenings filled with homework, dinner, and activities by choosing to have a spontaneous dance party during after dinner clean-up. Add the sprinkles! Now. Don't wait.  Add the sprinkles and soon you will be tasting the sweet joys that come from living NOW. Not later, after this task is complete, once I meet this goal, when the kids are grown.  NOW.  The time is now.  Oh Dayla, hear these words and live them!

Microtia...what's microtia??

Micro....what?  Microtia. (pronounced micro-sha).  So here's your public service announcement regarding a bit more information on microtia. I would like to share on a very basic level what microtia/atresia is and how it can be treated.  If nothing else, I love to learn new things.  Maybe you do too.

Microtia is a congenital occurrence where the external ear is underdeveloped.  The outer ear may be small, malformed, or absent. The name comes from the Latin words meaning little ear. This condition can be unilateral (one side only) or bilateral (affecting both sides).  The exact cause for microtia is unknown, though the CDC recently cited maternal diabetes and mother's diet likely risk factors for microtia. (http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/anotia-microtia.html)  Approximately one in every 9,000 children is born with microtia.    Microtia is often accompanied by atresia or the absence/closure of the external auditory ear canal (atresia is Latin for absence of an opening).  A child with microtia encounters hearing impairment due to the loss of outer ear structures.  

For a child with microtia, establishing optimal hearing is of utmost priority.  This can usually be accomplished with a bone assisted hearing device.  This type of hearing aide vibrates the skull, sending vibrations to the bones surrounding the cochlea, where hearing signal is received and sent to the brain. Essentially bypassing the ear canal and getting sound inside one's head.  Initially this hearing device may be worn with a soft band around the child's head until appropriate skull growth has occurred. 

Once the child is big enough, titanium rods or abutments are placed into the child's skull, where the hearing device can be attached.  If a child has microtia bilaterallly, then two hearing devices, one on each side, are recommended for the best surround sound hearing.  

Once hearing is established, it is recommended that a family take their time to explore ear reconstructive options.  There are four major options available, with new progress being made daily!  Options include 1. Rib graft-taking a child's own rib cartilage to create their new ear structure 2. Medpor ear implant with a skin flap placed over new ear 3. Ear prosthesis that can be removed as needed 4. No corrective surgery.  Each of these options come with their own pros and cons, making the decision process challenging.  Add in the social stress that can accompany microtia, and it is hard for parents to know what is best for their child.  

Because of these challenges, it is important for those with microtia to realize there is a community of support, information, early intervention, and awareness available to children, adults, and family members.  EAR COMMUNITY was created to provide awareness and information for those encountering microtia/atresia in their own life or one of a family member. Earcommunity.org is available worldwide and provides information on hearing devices, surgery, emotional support, and daily living with microtia.  

It is with great excitement that Ear Community announces NOVEMBER 9th to be the first annual National Microtia Awareness Day!!!  This day will be used to provide awareness on microtia and education on resources available.  We want to encourage any who are interested to support this FIRST annual day by purchasing a microtia awarenss t-shirt and wear it on November 9th.  The Hurleys will be taking pictures in our blue ribbon shirts and posting them on social media using #MicrotiaAwarenessDay #EarCommunity.  The deadline for ordering tshirts in time is November 1st so get your official tshirt HERE!   All tshirt proceeds will go to support children and adults with microtia and atresia.  (As a side note, most hearing assistive devices are not covered by insurance so your money will likely help others HEAR!)

So there you have it......a big announcement and a bit more information on microtia.  You can read the official press release HERE.  Thank you for your support!

Grateful: Day 3 with Oticon

When I had first reviewed our itinerary for our weekend with Oticon, I noted that Sunday morning had three hours marked for brunch, including time to "mingle with your new friends" (said the program).  I remember thinking, "Wow!  What will we do that entire time?!?"  Its funny now.  Our final morning in New Jersey had us up and packed and feeling a bit sad to not have more time with our new friends.  There was still so much I wanted to ask, wanted to learn.

We met at the Oticon dining room for brunch and visited for a bit.  After eating, the kids quickly joined in play together.  For a short period, we could not find Brody......only to discover him "camping" under the table with his friends.

After some free time, Oticon provided stations where we could talk to the staff about products, insurance assistance, and social media.  I had so many questions.....I never made it to all the stations! Each of the staff members were so kind and patient with us, answering each of my questions and helping in my desire to know more about pontos, surgery, and maximal hearing for Brody.  They provided each ponto wearer with very generous gifts.  Brody was excited to receive blue hearing aids like his friend (actually skins to cover his current pontos).  It was during this time that all of my emotions caught up with me.  Travis and I were discussing a hearing product with one of the audiologists and I could feel the tears coming.  I blinked lots and worked hard to suppress them but I could not stop thinking about all Oticon had done for us.  Then it happened.  Brody ran up to me and said, "Momma, look!!! Hearing aides!" and the tears came.  Oticon gave him a stuffed monkey who also wears a ponto hearing device behind one ear.  I could not believe it.  There was nothing they had not thought of......(well, except tissues.  I really needed tissues at this point. :)

Our time together ended with a few awards for the group's star creators, connectors, and socializers.  I was slightly paying attention when I noticed Brody's picture was on the screen.  Our little guy was honored with the Star Socializer.  The thought of it still makes me smile.

As parents, we were worried about Brody enduring the weekend with so many new experiences and people but instead he shined!  He made friends, he chatted with them, he played with them, he learned from them.  For all our days together, we as Brody's family have helped him communicate by interpreting his signs and now his speech.  This weekend, Brody communicated and made friends all on his own.  It was a beautiful and exciting thing to watch.  

So as we said our goodbyes, shed a few tears, and hugged our new friends, our hearts were so very full.  Full of the reminder that goodness still exists.  Full of family time, new memories, and treasured new friends.  Full of empowerment to research, speak out, and share.  Full of hope for the future.  Full of gratitude.  

Thanks Lord for making it all possible.  We thank you for our friends at Oticon and pray your blessing on them as they continue a good work.  Thank you.

Because sound matters: Day 2 with Oticon

It was day 2 on our Oticon adventure and we awoke anxious for all that the day had in store!  Our schedule was busy!  Conference from nine to five at the Oticon offices, followed by dinner and entertainment in New York City.  Prior to our trip, we had been a bit anxious about how Brody would do in so many new situations.  Though he does have a friendly personality, Brody still tends to cling and stop communicating when he is uncomfortable.  (Side note: Just the week before, Brody chose not to participate in his speech session with his teacher of two years because she had a student observing their session.  He remained uninvolved most all of the session.)  I mention all of this to say these concerns now seem silly.  Brody was friendly, excited, and outgoing from the beginning of our trip and did not waver despite the many new situations and people he encountered.  These were his friends! (That's what he kept telling us!)  So while Travis and I prepared for a day of learning, Brody headed to "camp", a day filled with crafting, games, and play in a room near to us at Oticon's offices.

I took eight pages of notes during the day and while I am sure you do not want to read the nitty gritty details, I must cover the highlights!

Our morning started with Alan Raffauf (Vice President, Marketing of Oticon Medical US) who reviewed the basics on bone anchored hearing systems, new products (Ponto 3 SuperPower!), and challenges Oticon wants to address.  We learned that ponto (the name of Brody's bone anchored hearing device) is Latin for bridge.  That is so neat!  In bone anchored hearing, sound stimulates the device which vibrates the bone around the cochlea, sending the hearing signal to the brain.  All while bypassing the ear and ear canal!  We heard from Tory Burns, an audiologist with Oticon and fellow ponto user.  He shared with us his personal experience as well as the new very much improved MIPS surgery for the placement of Brody's abutment (titanium post placed in skull that ponto attaches to).  This surgery is specific to Oticon devices allowing minimal scars, no sutures, shorter healing times, and less complications than the previous techniques for placing the abutments.  We learned about the immense community of support and advocacy thru Melissa Tumblin, mother to Ally, also a ponto user.  Melissa is the founder of earcommunity.org,  a website loaded with information and resources related to microtia and atresia.  They assist with educating, creating awareness, providing picnics where families can gather, helping those in need receive a donated device, scholarships, and so much more!  Melissa also made a huge announcement related to advocacy for microtia.....stay tuned because I will be writing a specific post on this.  Next we heard from Angela and Sarah Sabal.  Sarah is a sixteen year old beautiful young lady with bilateral microtia, ear reconstruction, and ponto user.  I cannot tell her story because it is hers to tell but I will say that she left this Momma feeling oh so hopeful for Brody's future.  She was a picture of grace, courage, and perseverance.  Her mother, Angela, directs several facebook groups related to microtia inlcuding a kids' club.  Camilla Gilbert is a beautiful young woman who shared her lifetime journey to hearing.  She shared the struggles and the triumphs.  I mention each of these by name because they were so special to us.  Up until this point, we had little contact with people who were walking a similar road as Brody's....the journey to hear and all that entails.  By the end of the morning, I felt overwhelmed by the support and resources available but also felt almost neglectful that I had not reached out to these sooner.  I was really beating myself up.  As I've had a bit of time to reflect, I think we were so busy upon Brody's arrival home with adjusting, providing for our children's needs, and visiting so many medical appointments, it all just seemed too much.  Thankfully we met each of these new friends at just the right time and before any major decisions for Brody's health have been made.  God's timing is perfect.  

Believe it or not....that was just our morning!  It was time for lunch and when we were reunited with Brody, it appeared he was doing just fine.  Actually, he was great!  He informed us he was eating at the kids' table.

If you are still reading....well, bless you! Here's where it gets good. :) At this point in the day we were not only overwhelmed with information but with the genuine goodness of the Oticon staff. Oticon's founding principle is "People first."  They do not just speak this but live it.  Many of the staff traveled across the country (or around the world!....two from Denmark!) to be with us for the weekend.  They took time away from their families, gave up their weekend off and instead listened to us.  I have worked in healthcare for almost twenty years and this is the best example of making the client priority that I have EVER witnessed.  The staff traveled with us, ate meals with us, taught us, listened to our stories, laughed and cried with us, and genuinely cared!  In all honesty, we did not pick Oticon when choosing Brody's bone assisted hearing device.  Instead that is what was provided to us, the only option that was paid for by our services.  BUT OH MY how that was God providing again when we did not even realize it!!!  What a blessing that we received Oticon products for Brody.  Not only did God provide him the best hearing for now but the most amazing staff to support and encourage us!  We continue to stand amazed at God's provision in our lives.

Our afternoon was filled with information related to insurance/reimbursement, methods of advocating, and brainstorming.  The ponto users and families shared takeaways from the day, suggestions for Oticon, and ideas for the future.  No big deal, right?  Here's the difference, Oticon staff listened.  We spoke, shared, and wrote down our ideas.  I heard the Vice President say, "If two people write it down, we really need to consider it."  Wow.  So many could model themselves after Oticon's customer service!  Our conference day ended with workshops and I played on Canva to create an image that promotes Brody's product.  It helps that he has a great smile. 

Well our day was not over yet!  Together we traveled into the city where we boarded the Spirit of New Jersey for a dinner cruise on the Hudson River.  We enjoyed beautiful views of the New York city skyline, including the Freedom Tower, Empire State Building, Brooklyn Bridge, and Statue of Liberty.  What a treat!!!

After enjoying the beautiful sights, our day ended with dessert and a dance party inside the boat. Brody took the lead when he grabbed Ally for a slow dance.  He even kissed her hand when the dance was over! Then the music picked up and so did the dance moves!  

The kids, big and small,  had a great time taking over the dance floor.  And yes, we were definitely surprised by Brody's dance moves!  It was a fantastic ending to a jam-packed, overwhelmingly good day.  

Thank you, Oticon.  Sound does matter.  Our son is proof of that. 

Goodness still exists: an Oticon adventure day 1

Generosity. Caring. Selflessness. Pursuit of excellence.  Customer first.  These principles are not extinct.  I know because I witnessed them and so much more at our recent weekend to Oticon's 2016 Patient Advocate Workshop: The Next Wave.  That title is a lot of words that hardly describes what we experienced.  I want to shout from the hilltops my gratitude....but instead let's just start at the beginning.

This past July, I received an email from an unknown person inviting my husband, youngest child, and I to New Jersey (all expenses paid!).  When I read the email, I immediately thought, "This is too good to be true."  I shared it with my husband, he replied the very same words and so we dismissed it.  Within a week, I received another email with the same invitation and asking for our reply.  I put it to the side for several days and finally decided to give a call to find out more.  What I discovered is that Oticon hosts an annual conference for ponto users(bone assisted hearing device that Brody wears).  Those invited would consist of children and adults.  It would be an opportunity for us to learn, share, and know others with similar situations/challenges.  We discussed it and of course agreed!

Fast forward 3 months to the week of the conference.  We had thought little about it and once receiving the itinerary for the weekend, we knew we were in for a treat!  My excitement was starting to build.  Travis not so much.  He still felt uncertain and when a limo arrived at the airport in Newark, Travis wondered if we should really get inside.  (Brody did not think twice!)

We enjoyed our hour drive from Newark to our hotel, stretched out in the limo.  Travis might have played with the interior lights and gadgets. :)

Feeling tired, we checked into our hotel and made our way to the room.  As we did, we noticed others in the lobby wearing the ponto hearing device.  Hmmmm......"people like our Brody" we thought, and our interest had been sparked.  We freshened up and returned to the lobby for our name tags and instructions from Oticon staff.  While waiting in line, our Brody began tugging on my sleeve and pointing to another little Asian boy.  As I noticed him for the first time, I saw he was doing the same thing to his Momma.  I took Brody to this handsome boy with a beautiful smile and we had introductions.  There was an immediate bond.  These two boys have so much in common.  By the looks on their faces, they must have felt the instant connection also.  

Travis, Brody and I made our way across the street to the delicious Maggiano's Little Italy restaurant. Brody was already drawing attention in his favorite light up shoes. 

At Maggiano's we began to mingle amongst other ponto users and the Oticon staff. There were so many staff members present, smiling, greeting us, interested in our Brody.  Immediately, you could feel the genuine caring.  Confession here, I had never before considered the people behind the brand Oticon that our son wore daily.  Suddenly we were face to face with THESE people and boy did they care! Our Friday evening was filled with excitement.  We ate delicious Italian food, met so many fantastic people, and each ponto user shared their personal story to hearing.  We heard stories from adults with sudden onset deafness, young adults who had worn many hearing devices, successful college students creating awareness for hearing impairments/microtia, teenagers dealing with being different, and children born hearing impaired.  And for those curious, some ponto wearers have two ears, some have one "normal" ear, and some have no "normal" ears.  The theme was clear: Oticon pontos had allowed hearing in each person's life and therefore improved learning, development, play, careers, school endeavors, and relationships. Adults and children were not just hearing but hearing well!!!

Sharing a tiny bit of Brody's story...he even said, "Hello!"

Brody became instant friends with Ms Lindzee, Oticon rep & audiologist.

So many beautiful, touching, life-changing stories!  It was inspiring!.....and the weekend was just beginning.  Despite our fatigue, we already felt encouraged and looked forward to a fantastic weekend with this diverse yet united group.  We went to bed with our bellies full, our hearts warmed, and our minds anticipating knowledge not yet known. 

To be continued.........

Family Day 2016!

This was us 2 years ago.

And this is us today.

When I look at this current picture, I see love, joy, God's faithfulness, lessons learned (yes, more wrinkles and less hair for some. Ugh, hum!!), and wisdom gained.  No, I suppose it has not been all smiles.  Yes there has been growing pains and adjustments but boy oh boy, the joys FAR outweigh the pains.  The Lord is so very good to us!

Today is a day of celebration!  Much like we celebrate our day of birth; today we celebrate the uniting of our family as five.  It's Family Day 2016!!! We are joyful to be celebrating this day together!  Our two years as a family of five have gone so fast and yet it seems that it has always been the five of us.  

All day my mind has been reminiscing about this special day that my family was reunited two years ago.  The past several days I have recounted this week in my mind: the travel, the anticipation, the concerns, the excitement, the steps our feet took in Hong Kong that ultimately led us to our son, the emotional reunion (read more here),  the fear, the love, the joy, the new beginnings, the awful travel home (the nitty gritty travel details), and the beautiful reunion.  My mind has relived the moments, the memories that led up to our family's gathering at a small east Tennessee airport.  Today is about remembering and celebrating how God can create a family from two opposite sides of the world through His amazing love.

You see no matter how a family is formed, it is special.  Each June, I remember the anticipation and excitement leading up to our oldest son's birth.  Each May, I share the memories and crazy details that brought our daughter into the world (an exciting story to say the least! this story really needs its own blog post!) and each May 23rd, we celebrate our youngest son's union into our family.  Though his birthday is in July and we love to celebrate his day of birth, we do not have the memories leading up to that day or know the anticipation of his arrival but we do know that May 23rd, 2014, the Lord blessed us again in such a great and mighty way that only His hand could.

 His hand led us to our son in a clear and direct manner.  His hand held ours as we awaited our son's arrival home (and it felt like forever!).  His Hand provided for our every need: financially, spiritually, emotionally. His hand brought us to a family of believers to worship with and encourage one another (on the other side of the world).  His hand provided safety during travel.  His hand comforted our family while we were separated.  His hand united us, though strangers.  His hand carried us through rough, challenging days of misunderstanding.  His hand brought us trustworthy, caring health care providers to assist in meeting Brody's needs.  His hand shapes us to be parents to meet our children's needs.  His hand continues to guide and direct us.....if only we choose to follow.  I love the tender image in my mind when I read from Isaiah 41,

The Creator of all the Earth is holding my hand!  And yes, most days He is holding me UP with His right hand.  What a "great love the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called children of God!" I John 3:1 This love is too great to contain!  Share it.  Live it.  Maybe your opportunity to live out His love is through a warm smile to a lonely stranger, through an encouraging note sent to a struggling friend, through a meal provided to someone in need, through sharing your story of faith with one who's lost, through sacrificing a worldly comfort to support a Compassion child, through loving the difficult to love.  Whatever small next step you need to take, step out.  Follow His hand and love others well.  The rewards, though unplanned, are great. 

Happy Family Day Hurleys! Love each other well.

An open letter to my child's interventionist, therapist & teacher

Dear teacher, interventionist, therapist of challenged kids,

Thank you.  Thank you for the times you worked through my child's fits, tears, screams,and kicks. Thank you for gently redirecting my child when on the brink of a meltdown.  Thank you for loving my child exactly how he is....not attempting to change him but to encourage the best in him.  Thank you for taking the time to listen to me about my concerns for our child.  Thank you for gently smiling and continuing to work with my child when you see those tears in my eyes.  Sometimes they are tears of pure joy and amazement.  Sometimes they are tears of overwhelming frustration but you never ask which tears they are, you simply smile and continue on.  Your smile tells me that you understand and that yes he is amazing and yes this can be frustrating but we  will continue to work together.

Thank you for having my child on your case load but teaching me too.  So often your gentle reminders, calm voice, methods of redirection come to my mind as I am caring for my child.  I am learning too.  I am learning we are all capable of more.  I am learning to challenge and push myself, just like you challenge my child.

Thank you for the extras.  The crafts, the gifts, the hugs, the rewards, the making my child feel like he is the only student you have.  I know you have other students, in fact you might just have children of your own but you bring patience and grace to each moment with our son.  Thank you for celebrating the little milestones with us, the ones most people take for granted. Thank you for not comparing him to others.  Thank you for giving your all.  For discovering new methods of teaching that will meet our son's specific needs and challenges.  Thank you for making all the therapy fun, diverse, and not so much like work.  Thank you for persevering, for pressing on, for not giving up on us.

Oh, and for the other parents....the ones who are too overwhelmed, too frustrated, too unsure to take a moment to say thank you, we thank you!  We see you loving each of our children and their unique qualities.  We see your heart breaking for some dismal circumstances.  We see you caring.  We see your sacrifice.  Thank you for loving, teaching, guiding, and challenging our children.

You encourage us.  You challenge us.  You are making a difference and we will be forever grateful.

May you be blessed as you have richly blessed us!

Signed,
An Indebted Mommy

Here's what GRATITUDE looks like today.

Gratitude each day looks different and yet the same.  There are the constant promises: forgiving love, mercy, grace, eternal life, peace and joy in turmoil that are always present.  There are many other constants: a comfortable home, food, caring family, encouraging friends, loving church family, health and so much more.  These are the gratitudes that remain the same.  The ones summed up in our little one's frequent prayers,

"Dear God, Thank you for everything you've given us.  Thank you for taking care of us."

Yes, thank you, Lord.  Your goodness is so great, it seems impossible to list all the ways you provide.

Then there are the gratitudes that change by the day.  The things I have to open my eyes to in the everyday, normal, and mostly chaotic of days.  The things that might be harder to see when the day has been challenging, frustrating, overwhelming.  These are the gratitudes that change and here are mine for today.

Today I'm thankful for....

1. doctors, dentists, and easy to obtain medical care.  With five medical appointments in the past week between two of our children, it is easy to think, "Oh no, not another doctor's visit.  Not another copay!" but today I'm choosing to say thank you Lord!  You have provided professionals that have the knowledge to care for my children and make them feel better.  We have medical care closely available and affordable.  Thank you.

2. compassionate professionals.  Two of our very recent family situations come to mind.  Just yesterday my husband was stopped by a police officer.  My husband deserved great penalty.  What he received was compassion and understanding.  We know he did not deserve it and that makes one all the more grateful.  Just a few days before our middle child was suffering with a swollen face and great oral pain.  A professional who did not even know us, intervened with compassion and care.  She provided an intervention that has provided our child pain relief, a treatment plan, and the road to healing.  Thank you.

3. snow.  Now, if I'm being honest, I do not like snow.  Nope.  I grew up in northern Illinois where we endured at least six months of winter and plenty of snow.  More than once there was snow on my birthday......the very end of May.  So needless to say, I feel like my snow tank is full.  But then a day like today creeps upon us and I am surprisingly grateful for snow!  Here in eastern Tennessee, snow brings beauty, terrible driving conditions, and closings.  Yep, all the unnecessary businesses close and life slows down.  AND that is the part I like.  I enjoy a day or two at home with my family of five near, warm, playing, eating, and peaceful.  I like the opportunity to stay in.  Thank you, Lord, for the snow.

As a part of the Raising Grateful Kids launch team (Kristen's book will be released January 26th! Order it now at Raising Grateful Kids or amazon for $10), writers were asked "How does gratitude look in your home?"  As I thought on this question, these steps came to mind.

1. Choose a grateful heart.
2. Look for gratitude opportunities in your day.
3. Speak your gratefulness out loud.

When our children and those around us hear us thank God for the big and little blessings in life, they too begin to notice the details He provides.  Gratitude becomes contagious.

Here's my thoughts on gratitude for today.  So many others have shared their thoughts, ideas, and lessons learned below.  Check out Marie's thoughts and others' through our Raising Grateful Kids Blog Hop.  Read on and be encouraged!

Check out these gratitude blog posts.

So I've got a 'lil secret....

Well....its time I share a 'lil secret with you.  It's an exciting one for me and one that I just have to share with others!  I am participating on the launch team for Kristen Welch's soon to be released  book, Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World. You can preorder your book here.:) www.raisinggratefulkids.com  Here's Kristen, also author of an excellent life-changing book, Rhinestone Jesus http://wearethatfamily.com/rhinestone-jesus/  and blogger at wearethatfamily.com

 

If I talk about Kristen like she is my friend,  it's because.....well, I think she is.  I mean I have never met Kristen and I get no monetary compensation for promoting her book but I believe in her message.  She writes in such a real, down-to-earth, catching-me-up-on-the-latest-story voice that I feel like we are chatting about our kiddos and doing our best to raise kids that honor God.  She has encouraged me and in return, I want to encourage you.

Here's the thing.  Have you ever read a book where you think, "oh yeah! yes!" or "That's right!" or "Okay, Lord, maybe there is still a great work to be done in me."  You will think all of this and so much more while reading Raising Grateful Kids.  This book is a tool.  A tool the Lord can use to shape you and your children.  You see, this book  is not just about raising grateful kids but so much more........raising children who are kind, thoughtful, self-less, considerate, respectful, display self-control, and are a joy to be around.  Who doesn't want to raise this child?

Are your children babies, toddlers, school age, teenagers, adults?  This book is for you!  Kristen covers thoughts on gratitude, wants vs needs, teaching self-control, managing technology in our homes (and on our kids' phones), craving obedience, and how to get on the boat if you feel you've missed it and it is far out to sea.  She also provides practical tools at the end of each chapter, entitled "Going against the flow".  Here Kristen provides simple, practical, real-life methods to put the chapter's themes into your lives at  home.  She breaks it down into suggestions for parents, toddlers, elementary age, and tweens/teens.  If your children are grown, you will find your life enriched by the self-examination that comes from  reading this book.....and you just might be able to encourage another Mommy or Daddy.

Raising Grateful Kids is full of good stuff.  I mean real, practical, you want to read this and be a better parent stuff!  I am so excited about all I am learning and contemplating for our family that I just have to share with you.  Kristen grabs your attention and heartstrings from the intro when she dives into the joy of giving one of  her children a very special gift and then having to revoke the gift. Ouch!  We as parents enjoy giving gifts that our children will enjoy and no parent wants to steal a child's joy but sometimes it's just necessary.

From this bittersweet story, Kristen dives into chapter one exploring what the American Dream means to each of us and how our expectations and (uh-oh.....) maybe our own entitlement lends to our children's entitled behaviors.  (Yep, this book is a whole LOT about us as parents and a lil about our kiddos.)

So clearly I'm all for reading Raising Grateful Kids but I'm not alone.  As  members of the launch team, we received pdf copies of Kristen's book in November.  Here are what other launch team members are saying:

"One word for this book: AH-MAY-ZING!!!!! Also see: conviction, tears, fist pump, joy, frustration, elation, solidarity....." 
-Amanda Wissmann

"Such a great book and message!" -Sarah Bernstein

"It's amazing how just one chapter can spill over into every area of our lives." -Chrissy Petty

"After reading the first chapter of the book, I was a mom on a mission."
 -Jennifer Wicker Thorvaldson

So if the holiday hustle and bustle has left you weary, overwhelmed, and maybe a bit saddened by all the stuff received and remaining feeling of emptiness;  buy yourself (and your family!) a gift..........Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World  www.raisinggratefulkids.com....you'll be glad you did! Promise.

💗It's amazing how just one chapter can spill over into every area of our lives.

The adventure continues......a walk down 2015 memory lane.

Merry Christmas!  This year we are sharing our year photo-style.  As I look through the below photos of fun, travel, and memories, I am reminded that yes we've been busy but there is so much more living that goes on between the posed and candid shots.  There are moments gathered around the dinner table discussing our day.  There are moments of instruction as we try to diligently teach our children to obey God and love others well.  There are discussions on life, people, world tragedy and God's power through it all.  There are Sundays and Wednesdays gathered in our church building with people striving to be Christ followers.  There are drop-in visits with laughter and story telling in our Tennessee room.  There are many moments gathered around out kitchen island where it seems we can talk, listen, and solve most any problem.  There are memories made in the back yard, chores done to maintain a home, hours of homework and school projects.  There are visits on our front porch, sharing, encouraging, and seeking Christ.  So while we are thankful for all the special memories shared below, we also know that life is made of fun, work, challenges, adjustments, learning, and all the moments in between.   Treasure the big moments and the little ones.   

Here's just a few of ours......

Snow is fun for all 3!

Our makeshift east TN sled

Happy Chinese New Year!

Mommy/Brooky date to the ballet

Egg hunt with Brooklyn's class

Swim time

Church egg hunt

Swinging with Great Grandpa

A great family getaway

We have a new ball player in the family!

We enjoyed plenty of family time on the lake.

Field Day 2015

Our kindergarten graduate

Celebrating!

Family Day 2015!

Birthday girl turns 6 with a new desk for crafting.

One of our favorite pastimes: neighbor time on the front porch.

Resting after her broken wrist repair

Everyone's excited, Dad caught a fish!

Family selfie with the waterfall

We love to camp!

Our oldest turns 10!

Independence Day

Boys.

Lots of swim time.

Our little turned 3....and enjoyed the gift of $$!

Camping fun.

Canoeing on our family camping trip.

Lake playtime

Summer trip: Kansas City Royals game

Family Day at the Omaha Zoo

Cousin time. precious.

College World Series game

Summer family trip with a stop at the Arch

Summer ends. School starts.

Our fifth grader, first grader & 3 year old.

An anniversary getaway. Sweet Sixteen.

 

Go Cyclones! Enjoying our new stadium.

Race for Wandell 2015. 

Brilee's TV interview

Brothers for life.

Writer's Celebration in Brooklyn's class: 

she shared a beautiful writing about the day she met her little brother.

We swam a lot!

These kids. We spent a day at a park 

and they were thrilled to discover buckeyes.

So thankful for these 3 we've been entrusted with.

Homecoming week: Favorite Disney character

Our lil pirates

Homecoming parade

Field trip fun!

Milligan's Homecoming.....Go Buffs!

Trunk-or-Treat....to infinity & beyond!

A superhero and a princess :)

Brooklyn's Wizard of Oz musical

Lighting of the town Christmas tree

(Brilee's fifth grade class sang.)

Thanksgiving at Grandpa & Grandma's...

enjoying the new slide!

Cousin fun!

Brooklyn's first UT game....go VOLS!

An annual tradition at the Christmas tree farm

Thankful.

Real life

   As we think back on 2015 it was clearly a great year....so much fun, so much learning.  But also many new challenges.  Most days we find ourselves feeling completely inadequate to meet our responsibilities' needs.  We are not capable to guide three children, to teach a large group of teenagers, to lead an eager group of students and staff, to care for the sick, or to love others but that is when a promise from 2 Corinthians becomes evident in our lives.  

 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 

2 Corinthians 12:9

We are so thankful for God's strength, wisdom, and grace.  We are grateful for new daily mercies.  That is what we are leaning on.  HIM.  And it is because of Him, we celebrate this special season.  It is because of Him, we have joy, peace among turmoil, and hope for the future.  

  My hope for you is that you find those quiet moments to celebrate and welcome the coming King.  As we prepare to celebrate our Savior's birth, so many distractions are surrounding us.  We can often make Christmas about gifts, gatherings, programs, parties, crafts and so much more but really the message of the manger is simple.  Christ has come.  He has come for you and for me.  And he is coming again.  Praise HIM!!!  This simple promise gets me excited and helps to keep the peace and joy in my heart.  May you enjoy resting in His promises.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!!